The context: The U.S.-Mexico border. A manufacturing plant. Steel. A decidedly “masculine” environment.
A bit more context: I was working with a leadership team during a period of 10 months, with the objective to helping its leaders and the team become a more cohesive, highly productive team as they integrated a new facility -- as well as a new set of leaders -- into its operations. In this team of 16, there were three women.
What happened: One morning – after 5 days at the plant -- I had one of those “ah-hah” moments regarding gender and diversity.
The topic of the week for the leadership team was “asking for support” which was critically needed and difficult for them to do in general. As I reflected on my experience with them, I realized that the three women in the group had really been an exception because of their ability within this context to support each other and the team.
So I wrote an email to the three women to underline the importance of these well-developed skills to the team’s overall success. It was an email of general acknowledgment and support for them.
Collusion: And then after writing the email I had one of those shifts when you realize something important. It was a lovely moment of self awareness: I had been significantly benefitting from the women’s support of me working at the plant and had not fully realized it. Like the other members of the team, I had simply enjoyed that support which in turn helped me be much more successful with the team in general. In a way, I had colluded with the team -- the men -- in not seeing, acknowledging and practicing this much needed behavior. I "collude" when I go along with what's easy and what's rewarded (especially by those with power) when it is in conflict with what is truly needed from me as a participant in the system.
These are the women who over the first 2 months of the project stopped by my office in the plant to make sure I took the time to eat, ask me what I needed, and offer to bring me something I may have left at home. These are the women who provided a dose of attention and care on the human level. These are the women who have made a significant difference in my own experience and level of satisfaction in the work itself. And these were the women who helped me be aware that without their special kind of support, I could not do as much for the whole of the team.
Diversity Issue: I see this scenario in part as a diversity issue about gender. Many women do tend to develop the ability to support others by nature and nurture. And while mostly all of us can point to supportive relationships that have been critical in our development and even survival, being supportive of others is almost always less rewarded in society than getting ahead. For there to be more gender equality in society, men and women must develop an awareness of the full range of skills that are required to meet the needs of a healthy society.
Reducing the gender gap: Women in the workplace have clearly made strides developing skills generally attributed to men (because of the nature-nurture scenario) given our participation in the more formal work structures during the last 50+ decades, but the challenge for men in this area will continue to be in developing the ability to nurture and support others in an environment that still does not reward its people to do so. Avoiding collusion will require that men -- and all those in societal or positional power -- first notice. Notice and acknowledge the wisdom and abilty of those who are giving support to others. Start to pay attention to who gives it, who benefits from it, the impact of it, and how they do it. And then you, you turn your new awareness into the ability to nurture and support others by simply doing the same.
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